Being a mom is hard.
Being a homeschooling mom is really hard.
Being a homeschooling mom with chronic health issues is extremely hard.
When my health is not so great, when I get discouraged with the ups and downs, I often wonder how in the world my kids ever learn anything! But somehow, they do! I'm thankful that my older two work independently in most subjects now. But still, some things are skipped more often then I'd like. Sometimes it ends up taking two years to get through one year of history. But they are learning. And more importantly, they are gaining godly fruit and character, despite my limitations!
When my health is inconsistent, I also miss out on other activities and things I'd like to do. It's easy to start feeling sorry for myself when I can't do as much as "normal" people do in a day; or I can't commit to something as simple as a weekly Bible study. I don't make as many plans as I used to, because I never know if I'll be able to follow through.
But one thing God has shown me in more than one way the past couple months is this:
He enables me to do what He calls me to do.
What has God called me to do right now, at this point in my life? Be a wife, a mom, and homeschool my boys. That's all! Those are my God-given priorities. That's where I need to pour my energy, little as it may be on some days.
All those other things don't matter. I can't be frustrated with God when He doesn't supply energy for all the activities I "wish" I could do. That's not what He has promised.
When I feel as though I'm failing at those three roles, if I stand back and re-focus my perspective, I realize that God really IS enabling me to do those things which He has called me to do. Maybe not in my ideal way, but it's enough! I just need to keep my focus on Him and His promises, not on me and my limitations.